Funeral Home Yoga

I was driving down the road one day. I live in a small town of Chesapeake, Wisconsin. If anyone knows anything about Chesapeake, they know that it is the most boring desolate town to live in. We have a shop, a mill, and a funeral home. 

  The funeral home is under new management since the last couple died. Now a bunch of women are constantly coming through and through. They live across the street in an old apartment building. I find them rather strange. They live and work this funeral home. They are probably the wealthiest group of people around town. Yet I never see any business. I only see the seven ladies doing yoga out in front, I'm the parking lot. Strange. 

  Anyways. When I drive by I, again, see these women doing yoga. They have a chimney and there is smoke bellowing from the top. It smells of steak. I finally found a peak interest in them and pulled into the drive way. One of the ladies walked up. She looked at me with this weird look and I became afraid. What the hell is going on. I step out of my truck and walk towards the door. I turn around and ever one of them is looking right at me. I walk into the door and there is a smell of bleach and detergent. I walk up to the lady at the desk and ask her what kind of funerals they do. 

     "What kind of funeral are you looking for?" Her voice screeched. 

         "The best for cheap."

"Well look at this catalogue and you can get back to me." 

"Thanks." I take the book and walk to a chair. I flip through the pages and see that there a pages that have been torn and beaten. "Where's the restroom?"

  "Around the corner." I walk towards the bathroom and notice a door with the word "Crematorium" on it. That must be where the smell comes from. I see a flash of light from underneath the door and a laugh. I open the door and look down the steps. More and more flashing lights. I walk down the steps. It's dark. Flash. And another.  I make my way to the bottom and find the switch. 

   "Don't touch it!" A voice says. 

"Who's there?" 

       "Who let you down here?" 

"No one I let myself." I feel around to see where I am. Out of no where a fire starts. I see the seven women standing around a body. 

      "I... I thought this was a..."

"Funeral home? It is!"

  "Then what the hell are you doing."

"Sacrificing this body to our ruler."

     "Yeah. How do you think we're still open?"

   "I assumed you made money... You know, doing funerals?"

     "We only do closed casket."

"Keeps them from seeing the body. Well there isn't a body to see."

  "I have to tell the police!"

"You're not going anywhere!" As I begin to run two of the ladies grab my arms. They aren't human hands. They are long and slimy, with big suckers on the end. The turn me around and I am stunned by their faces. They're big and silver. With bug eyes. Aliens. I pass out and when I wake up I'm strapped to a table with the seven aliens over me. 

  "Your turn."